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A Game of Pwns

Given how much I've had to say about the last few episodes, several people have been asking me the pa
First Draught
A Game of Pwns
By M.G. Siegler • Issue #169 • View online
Given how much I’ve had to say about the last few episodes, several people have been asking me the past couple of days for my thoughts on the Game of Thrones finale. The sad, short answer is that I honestly don’t have much to say beyond what I tweeted.
WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU’RE NOT CAUGHT UP ON GAME OF THRONES, SKIP TO THE LINKS
Unlike many people I know, I was fine with the ending. Perhaps even a little happy. I thought it was a nice coda. A swan song after one hell of a run. One of the best shows on television ever, without question. That said, my thoughts were probably also biased by low expectations after such disappointment earlier in the season. I don’t hate all the choices the show runners made (though I do hate some of them), but I simply, truly believe they miscalculated how long it would take to finish off the series in a way it deserved. And we all suffered as a result, unfortunately.
I did, however, jot down some notes/thoughts in terms of a few things that I still want/need closure on. I’m sure this list will grow substantially as I think on it more. I guess I’ll have to wait for George R.R. Martin. Which could be a while…

  • What was up with Varys notes? Did he get any of them out? To whom did he send them? Did he burn that one then extinguish it (cut off its oxygen) in order for someone to find at least part of it? Who got his rings?!
  • Jaimie and Cersei have no visible wounds after being crushed to death. Really?
  • Why isn’t Bronn at the council to determine the new ruler? He is the head of Highgarden now, per Tyrion’s promise, right? (A Lannister always pays his debts?) He’s at Tyrion’s leadership table later, of course…
  • Also in terms of that group deciding the head of the realm, why is Arya there? Or Bran for that matter? The Starks just get more representation because of their focal plot point?
  • Speaking of, Bran implies he’s going to warg into Drogon? Um, why didn’t he do that, I don’t know, any other moment this season?! Or the other dragons? Why give him such powers to only use them as an expository throw-away line at the end?
  • In general, we just needed so much more from Bran this season to earn this outcome. I liked that the conversation between Tyrion and Bran in episode two wasn’t completely pointless, but it wasn’t enough. Should the Three-Eyed Raven be a king?!
  • That said, “Bran the Broken” felt like the right name.
  • Does it have more meaning, though? He was marked by the Night King, why? Just to track him? Why did everyone else he touched turn into a White Walker?
  • Wait, you mean to tell me that of all the people, little Robert Arryn survived this whole thing?!
  • I think the succession of the North is fine and just, but the debate/request from Sansa was comically short. Which, again, seems indicative of the whole season.
  • While it may have been too on-the-nose to show the White Walkers still roaming north of the Wall as Jon Snow and crew head north, it also would have been a fitting bookend with the very first scene. Also, I mean, what else could have happened to Craster’s babies who were converted by the Night King?!
  • Everyone shitting on Samwell’s plea for a more democratic realm was admittedly funny.
  • As was Sansa’s pwning of Edmure Tully.
  • Arya sailing west was the right call.
  • We know what happened to the Unsullied. What on Earth – literally – happened to the Dothraki?!
  • Where did Arya’s horse go? Why was she on that horse?!
  • Where did the Iron Bank go? They’ll want that debt repaid – their army, the lamest army ever, was decimated.
  • What became of Daario? Did Drogon take Daenerys’ body to reunite with him? Aside: I’ll just remind everyone that Jon Snow was resurrected after being stabbed in the heart…
  • WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MEERA REED?! What a total waste of so many great potential plot lines there…
Drinking: a Von Ebert Tropical Wheat 🍻

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